Comfortably Numb……. or NOT

I haven’t posted in a bit. I guess it’s mostly due to the fact that I’m trying to accept this LOVE that we are attempting AGAIN. I am saddened that I am so nervous to let you love me like I know you CAN. You are one of the GREATEST LOVErs I have ever known. Not the Oooohhh La La lover, although you are not LACKING in that department AT ALL!! perhaps that is another post tho, BUT the LOVEr that loves you with their EVERYthing, the lover that makes sure that you FEEL the love, you are so good at making sure I FEEL your love.

I love that, I love you, I’m just so fucking SCARED of what will happen to me if you are TAKEN from me. I know everyone says to just let it go and don’t be afraid and blah fuckity blah blah blah, but they are not me, they do not know just how HORRIBLE life was for me when you were GONE.

GONE, yea you were GONE & I had NO idea if you were coming back. I know that you are being patient with me. That you are trying to understand, that you are being patient as you try to understand where my FEARS come from. But I worry that your ‘patience & understanding’ will soon run out. That you will soon become ‘annoyed’ with my hesitation to FULLY fall back in love.

Hey babes, I started this post sometime this weekend. I have been avoiding anything electronical due to my FEAR of hearing/seeing/doing something that reminds me of YOU. I’m just gonna post this and start another one.

I love you…

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