My nights are meant to be filled with YOU…

Hello my Moon. Oh, how I have missed this. This feeling of bliss when waking. This feeling of HAPPINESS, can you believe it? I just said I was feeling happy. Just the thought of me being happy makes me tense a tad bit. I can easily overcome this anxiety at present. I can push it back into the darkness, where I hope it stays, so quickly today.

Does the Tingle stop the voices that are running through my head when they think I am distracted? No, sadly, it does not. The will’s and the why’s and most importantly the what’s, they still sting when I least expect it. They sting with will this happy I speak of really stay? Will I be happy for just a few moments before I crash down into that black abyss I have been desperately trying to climb out of? The list is endless. I am ignoring them today. I am going to enjoy this bliss I feel today. I am going to answer every one of those fucking stings with an F U He’s MINE forever!!

You know why? Because I am starting to keep this Tingle with me when you are gone. I am starting to FEEL the tingle of you when you are away like I used to. I am beginning to remember what it was like to just always KNOW that you would be there for me. To not have the doubt, the anxiety I now feel if you are half an hour late, because to me you’re means you are DEFINITELY not showing up. Never now does it cross my mind that your little one is up late, you are taking a late shower like you love, no, never. It’s always that you aren’t going to be here. That I will have to spend another night with out you.

I am still putting my trust in you. I know that you will guide me on this journey through LOVE. You are so what my SOUL has needed to begin healing. I can feel you ‘fixing’ me and I love it. I have to continue with my day. I have a lot to get done before we crack those bottles of wine tonight. I can’t wait. For some reason me tipsy has been healing for US. I can’t wait for some ‘healing’ time tonight.

Until we meet again my Moon. I love you, I believe in you, and I thank you for believing in US.

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Freaking ridiculous ridiculous-ness you are. « Can I Keep You…

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