My world is full of darkness….

I can’t believe that Christmas is only days away. I am in such a funk that I hope I miss it actually. I don’t want to pretend to be happy. I don’t want to fake it any longer. I am so tired of pretending like I am not dead inside.

There has been so much shit going on these last few days and adding that to you not being here is enough to maybe check myself in for a few days. I really feel like I am slipping away. I am so confused right now. You are gone. Again. Seriously?!?

I feel numb. I am sad but not hurting, if that makes sense. I miss you so much. I think about you all day. I have nothing nice to really say to you other than that so I guess I will stop for now because I don’t want to say hurtful things because I am mad and sad.

I am trying to hold on to US, I am trying to believe, I am trying to remember the tingle but there is nothing but darkness. I hope that you are miserable. I hope that you are sad, alone, and hurting. Merry fucking Christmas my Moon…..

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