Trying to fight the darknes…

This song is haunting me. It is showing up first on almost any music device I start up. I don’t know why. Am I supposed to want you to stay? Did you stay? Will you stay? Weren’t you always going to stay? Haven’t I really been just fooling myself that it was going to be any other way? I guess I am in too dark of a place right now to write to you. I feel like there is nothing that should be said from these monsters that are running amok inside my head. I am trying to fight them. I am trying to…. Breathe… who am I kidding? I am just trying to fucking breathe today…  I finally made myself leave my room and come to the living room. I haven’t been feeling like doing anything today. I haven’t even eaten and the worst part is I even tried; I actually tried to force myself to eat. I ended up almost gagging so I aborted mission. I put on some music in here and what do you think is fucking playing? Really? Seriously? I guess I am going to try to distract myself with some smutty reality TV. There’s nothing like a good girl fight to make ya feel better, especially when it’s over a guy who has ALSO made out with 16 other chicks too. I am probably going straight to hell. Wait, this isn’t hell? Fuck…  

** I don’t know when I wrote this or why it never was posted so I am just posting as is… sorry if it is choppy and hard to follow…

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1 Comment

  1. That’s a beautiful photo….. so true.


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