What happens when I don’t get to write. Sorry….

Hey my Moon, it’s been awhile, on here anyways. I thought that if I ended going on the trip I would be spending it just having me time and writing while listening to the waves crash into the shore, like the thoughts that were storming in my head. Obviously that did not happen due to events that happened before I left that nearly broke me and if I hadn’t already had this trip booked I would have not had anyplace to end up because I was definitely getting in the car and leaving after what took place.

Where do I begin with this much needed girls weekend adventure? I think I may have written before of how I didn’t know if I would be going or not on the trip. I drug my feet until the last possible minute and even talked to one of my Chickie’s Sunday morning and tried to talk way out of it with there may not be enough room and blah blah blah, she was not having it, thank gosh, and told me to get up and ready we were leaving shortly. Then ‘that’ happened and I couldn’t pack fast enough. I packed my small suitcase, grabbed my makeup bag and other needed toiletries, through this in the backpack, grabbed my pillow and 3 bottles of wine and 2 coconut waters and left. I think I have left the house with more stuff for a play date and I was planning on being gone until Wednesday but I needed to leave. Saturday was already bad and I was on the breaking point then, Sunday threw me over the top.

I picked up J and baby K and we stopped by D’s to load up her, T and S, and away we were. An all girls trip to the ocean for 3 WHOLE nights with no boys and no kids, with the exception of baby K who was a JOY to have because she is a wee tiny one with precious baby smiles and MUCH needed baby snuggles AND she didn’t even cry once! Just a few fusses for some milk (: I made record time and we pulled in just after sunset and loaded up the condo with all of our girly weekend items. I noticed right away that the ‘me’ time I was planning was not going to be taking place. There were just too many of us and too much to do and chat about to spend anytime on here spilling out my deepest darkest thoughts, they had to stay locked away and really I think it best for now. I don’t want to give you super long play by play and bore you my love but I will say we spent Monday shopping and then off to the beach for sunset and it was B E A U T I F U L, everything I needed, wonderful Chickie’s that love me, a baby girl that warms my heart, a orange and pink and purple sunset on the ocean and You, my love in my soul. I could feel you wrapped around me like a cozy, snuggly blanket and everything felt right. No matter what happened before or after right then, I was going to be okay and I knew it because of you and your love for me, for US.

We were chatting on Tuesday after lunch about how nice it would be to just stay at the ocean and not have to go back, well, one joke led to another which eventually led to me calling our condo crew and extending the stay at our condo until Friday. I couldn’t believe it. I have never done something so spur of the moment like that before. I didn’t call to ask permission, I didn’t have to beg and barter for ‘more time’, I just did it and so did the other 2 Lovies that stayed (: Baby K, J, and S had to leave on Tuesday anyways so it was just D and T who stayed with me and it was GREAT. I spent ALL of Tuesday in my jammies on the deck listening and watching the waves crash into the jetty. It was magical. I loved every second of it. It was just what I needed. To be able to let the ocean be angry for once as it beat at the jetty with its waves. The clouds started to roll in on Tuesday evening and it was calming to see. It was how I felt, gloomy, grey, windy, and it settled me. The rain followed and it was calming at times to listen to hit the skylight above the bed. Thursday was the day that was the hardest and most rewarding for me. We decided to trek out to the point to see the Snowy Owls that have nested there. It was a windy, rainy, my kind of beautiful, day on the ocean. We all dressed in all of our waterproof ocean attire, which included my Rocking ROckstar Ronan purple star ring, purple ear muffs, and RO purple boot socks (: and we started our trek to the point. It took us 45 minutes to reach the owls and it was worth every second. They are beautiful creatures. They are majestic as they soar through the air. I don’t believe you have truly experienced seeing a bird soar unless you are in the open air and they are freely soaring about and it is so calming. We snapped a few pics with the small camera we had and then it was off to beach walking, my all time favorite. We spent the next 4 ½ hours walking the shore and looking for agates and rocks and it was the most calming and challenging thing I have done in a long time. Now it may not seem like much to some but let me tell you that while I was mostly dry the wind was still pretty cold at times and I didn’t sit down or stop moving the whole time. It felt so good. I loved the burn in my legs from walking on the sand and rocks for so long. I loved the sting of the rain on my cold fingers as I picked up rocks, shells, agates and whatever else caught my eye. There were times when it was raining that I had no idea because I was so lost in the sea. I went hours without saying a word just staring at the water and waves. My whole body felt the workout that the beach gave me and I am so sad that I won’t be able to feel it again for awhile. If I lived closer I would be on the beach daily, she calms my soul. I ended the trip with the most A M A Z I N G soak in the huge 2 person jetted tub under the sky light with candles all around. I have not been that relaxed and at ease in FOREVER and it was just what I needed. And of course you know how much enjoyment you added to it too (: I love you, you make me feel like a silly in love teenager and it is wonderful.

I know that I said that I wasn’t going to give a boring play by play but it has been so long since I was able to sit and write and I feel so calm still and I really wanted to get this out.

I shut out everyone from ‘reality’ this girls WEEK (: everyone but you. You wouldn’t have let me shut you out if I would have tried but I was happy not trying at all (: you made sure I knew that you were ‘there’ with me, that you weren’t going to run away, that there was no ‘push’ I could give you that was big enough to make you leave, while at the same time giving me the space and time I needed with the Chickies. Again you proved to be amazing and I love you.

I have been asked several times since if I had fun, I kind of laugh at this a bit because don’t get me wrong I definitely enjoyed myself but this trip was not about fun. It was about getting away before bad things, really bad things, happened. I don’t know yet it if worked but I know that I love you more than ever. I know that you again proved that your love for me is not something I want to live without anymore. Thank you for not letting my pushes stop your love or the way you believe in US.

Goodnight my Moon. I love you. I need you. I miss you. I am so thankful for you…

Damon Point beach

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