Today is a tough day…




No words for now… can’t find them, can’t type them, don’t want to if I could…

I miss you. I need you. I love you….

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  1. I feel your pain friend. Keep your head up if you can, if you can’t keep your head up, let it look down into your heart and see the love that you have with Moon. Someday I hope you learn to trust in it.

  2. Wow, I found this blog through a blog of a blog of a blog. And, while things are no longer like this, MAN- that pit in your stomach right below your rib cage- UGH – it came back reading these posts. When “B” left, oh God, in May of 2009- I thought I would never recover. But – you do. The sun keeps coming up – life keeps going on. I thought – I knew – he would come back, return calls, texts, emails – anything. But – no. He didn’t. I was not what he wanted. Hurting still, crying daily four months later – I forced myself to start dating again in September. Met a great guy I am still with. But still, it took me about two years to stop looking for an email through the trash or spam folder from “B” that I may have missed. To stop hoping I would see him when I drove through his part of town. To get a call or a text – anything. But no, once he was gone, he was gone. And a part of me that still has yet to come back- is gone too. I know I will never have a connection with another human that was like that. Three years later, it still gives me chills. No one will ever connect and “get me” like he did. And he even said it too, how freaky it was we were SO in sync. No one else will do that. Ever. BUT he taught me what love is. And in that ripping apart he did to me, – the true, honest love I felt- it showed me what I have to offer. Having been with a new man for over three years, A good man. Best man yet, far better than “him”. Lacking the angry outbursts, drinking sprees and aloofness that fed my insecurities. No, the new one is exactly the opposite. But what sucks for him is that the damage from B, it unfortunately has cut off a part of me that no one will ever see again. To be that carefree and love so much and so hard with such reckless abandon- no – never again.

    I hope things work out for you. Know, that you will be changed from this. And try to not let it ruin your future. I HATE the fact that I cannot be who I so DESPERATELY want to be in a relationship. But I can’t, and I won’t. 😦

    But, life goes on. Whether you like it or not, dammit. ❤


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