I can’t even title these things anymore… It has to get better than this.

I tried writing you again today. I deleted it. Like I have done with every post for I can’t remember how long. I’m sorry. I miss you. I miss the way you made me feel. I miss the way I was able to be carefree and fun with you. I miss laughing. The real laughs.

I miss so much about you, US, that I get lost in memory when I try to write and then what does come out is so warbled and messy that I get frustrated and delete it.

I am sorry that it looks like I am settling. I’m not. I have some big ideas burning within and I am trying to figure them out and see what to do with them.

Thank you. Thank you for letting me find me. Thank you for not smothering but not abandoning me either. I don’t deserve the love and patience you have shown me.

I’m sorry if the ending of this story is not with the picture perfect US that we had in mind. I’m sorry if by finding me we lose US.

I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry I am so bad at expressing myself lately. I’m thinking of ways to fix that.

I miss US.

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