An early morning Miss List.

I have so much to say and yet nothing to type. I don’t know why this happens. I don’t know why I am always able to ‘write’ at the worst times. When I have some time to myself to do what I want, which happens to be write, I cant because my mind is racing in so many directions right now. Perhaps I should take a minute and be right back….

Mission accomplished and a Jason Mraz song to welcome me back? Gee, don’t I feel lucky.

I don’t know what to say now, of course. Or maybe its not that I don’t know WHAT to say but more of I don’t know HOW to say it. Not that there is one ‘it’ too say but you get what I mean right? No? Good. Me neither.

I want to say that I miss you. But I really miss US. I miss the way I could feel US, the way I could feel US in my soul. I miss the way you touched a part of me that I don’t recall ever being ‘touched’ before. A part of me that I didn’t even know existed until US showed me.

I miss the way I could fall asleep in seconds and how I felt safe. I miss NOT waking with cheeks wet from tears. I miss the way you could sense when I needed and what I needed before I ever did. I miss the laughs. I miss the love. I miss the caring. I miss the fun. I miss getting to be me.

I miss having someone who shows me how much they care about me. I miss feeling loved, feeling cared about. I miss late nights and early mornings. I miss middle of the night showers. I miss kissed away tears. I miss Casper whispers. I miss hours slipping by unnoticed. I miss Iron Man masks. I miss headsets and killionaires. I miss recipe swapping.

I miss not feeling guilty. I miss not missing you.

I miss butterflies. I miss tingles. I miss goosies. I miss heart fluttering, breath taking moments. I miss the sparkle.

I miss everything about you. I miss too much. This could go on forever I think.

I hope your Miss List is shorter than mine. Better yet… I hope you don’t even have a fucking Miss List.

I’m sorry.

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1 Comment

  1. I’m not much of a drinker… But I’m going to be tomorrow. | Can I Keep You...

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