And still I sit and wait…

You say that it was the first time. You say that you have never said anything like it before.

And yet it rolled off your tongue and flew from your mouth as easily as a Hello.

I don’t know what I am anymore but I know what I am NOT and that is sorry. I’m thankful that someone or thing out there made your phone call me at that exact moment. So that I could hear the way you truly feel. Now I know how I am talked about when I am not around.

I can’t say that I didn’t expect this. I can’t even say that I’m surprised. All I can say is that I am broken. I feel like what I have felt all a long was validated. That I never should have believed. I never should have let you in.

And I don’t care if I am being completely childish or if I AM a fucking bitch. This is how I feel. This is how YOU made me feel.

Never again.

Leave a comment

3 Comments

  1. liiterally….my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry.

    Reply
    • Thank you friend. I am so confused right now. Thanks for the messages. They add a bit of warmth to the coldness.

      Reply
      • My pleasure friend, I have had some changes going on as well, sometimes a pat on the back or a warm comment brightens things if only a bit.
        I hope things become clearer for you.

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