I don’t know what is wrong with me. Yes I do. I am in love with you. And I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to continue to deny it.
IT CAN NEVER BE.
I have to almost drown you out with music when we talk now. Too many times I find myself having to fight the flutter I feel of US. Too often I have to take a ‘time-out’ and try to collect myself. Almost every word you speak sends sparks to my soul that ignite a whole shit load of other reactions I am so distracted by that I miss what you say and end up having to ask you to repeat it, which could also be a bad idea depending on the type of ridiculous thing you say.
Fuck. I even find it difficult to just sit with you, in silence. Are you fucking serious? I can’t even sit in silence with you? Nope, can’t. It’s too US. I find this weird calming/relaxing/ safe-ish feeling with you and it sends me into panic. What if I start to believe the bullshit of US again and you decide you get ‘too busy’ for me again? Just thinking about it I find it hard to take a full breath. So I shut down.
You’ll never guess what the fuck Pandora is playing… What a bitch!
I miss US.