But… Will you still love me, tomorrow?

 

Am I wanting too much? Am I smothering you again? Is this real? Are we really back in this together? Was it too late? Will our souls find each other again? Do you want this? Did you ever want this?

I have a lot of questions that are swarming right now. I want to get lost in US. I want to try to find my way back to you. I don’t want to feel so awkward around you anymore. I don’t know how to be real with you anymore and it scares me. I don’t think I have ever been able to be anything but real with you before and now I try to pretend I’m okay and not struggling to breathe every breath.

I get butterflies when you call me. I get the tingles when I think of the time we were able to spend together today, it literally hit me at the most awkward times today at work but also brought a smile and flutter to the butterflies. I can’t wait to be in your arms again. I can’t stop thinking of the way I feel when I am with you. I can feel you in every cell of my body sometimes, like our souls are colliding, and I can’t believe how much I missed it. I can’t believe how much I have blocked or tried to forget about US.

I don’t remember what it feels like to not be a bother to you. I don’t remember what it feels like to know you will be there. I go to sleep every night; well I try to go to sleep every night, wondering if you will be there when I wake up. I wake, with a start each morning feeling the heaviness of your absence in the pit of my stomach, scared to call you for fear that you won’t answer again and that is NOT how I want to start my day.

I want to start it with you, US, the way every day should start, with a love that is unexplainable and extraordinary.

I am fearful that none of my days with start the way they should and that my nights, that are supposed to be filled with US, will be empty and lonely.

I’m sorry.

I miss you.

I love you.

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Oh I do so hope you find your US again…
    At least if you don’t try – you will never know…
    xxxxx

    Reply

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