Dear Universe, Please show me something Amazing today… Make me feel alive.


 

Hey there.

I miss you. I want to lie in bed with you all day and just get lost in your love and snuggle into you, wrapped in your arms, forever. In your arms is the only place that I feel safe, it is the only time that I am able to fully breathe.

And that scares me. I need to be able to be okay on my own. I want to be okay on my own. I want to be able to fall asleep at night and not constantly be woken with nightmares.

I guess I am going to stop this now. It isn’t making me feel better for some reason. I am feeling a bit worse right now actually.

I am going to blast some music, my specialty, and get lost in cleaning, until I can get lost in US.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

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You better be drinking that glass of water and taking those tylenol… I’ll meet you in our dreams butthead.

I’m mad at you.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.

I hate alcohol. It is annoying. It is hurtful. It is stupid. And it is a waste of fucking time and money. So please if you feel like getting loaded next time drop your phone in the toilet or something so that we don’t have another one of these fucking nights.

I love you.

I’m sorry that I hurt you today. I’m sorry that I don’t have the love capacity that you do. I’m sorry that I have been so shattered that it makes loving you so hard. I wish I could love you. I wish I could make you feel the love that you make me feel.

But I don’t know how.

I don’t know how to love or be loved without hurt or meanness being involved.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know what else to say. If I was capable of loving I would love you. I just don’t know if I am capable. And if I find out I am, I don’t know if you will still be around.

I miss you.

I need you.

I’m yours.

Did you read that last part by the way??

I’m Yours….

Guess who’s wide awake and has to be at work in 6 hours? Yup, Me can you say…

I miss you.

I love you.

I wish I was snuggled in your love, fast asleep.

I’m yours.

Since you can’t be here to chase away the demons tonight can we at least meet in my nightmares… I mean dreams

I want to write to you. I want to tell you how much I miss you and need you.

But I can’t. I’m sorry.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

Hope your night was better than mine… Or do I??

I’m not in the best of moods right now so I probably shouldn’t even be attempting to write, or should I?

I’m feeling ignored, unimportant, not wanted, and unloved; and I hate it. I hate that when I am available you are not. I hate it even more when the reason behind ‘your not’ is related to video games, golf, or alcohol. I mean really? I don’t rate above any of those? Not even a, hey I’m kinda busy response. Just an ignore. A nothing.

I know I’m being ridiculous. I get it. Do you have to be available at my beck and call? Absolutely not, I have never wanted that, but I would like if I called repeatedly in a row for you to acknowledge that I just might really need you and to answer. Or at least respond. But nope. Nothing. Again.

I know I said I was busy for the night. I know I said I would talk to you tomorrow. I know I said a lot of shit. But I need you now. It doesn’t matter anymore what I said because right now I need you, and you aren’t here. And I just don’t get it. I just don’t get how you expect me to let go of my reserves and trust you when you aren’t there when I need you. I know that it may seem like a small thing to you but it’s not to me. You are my lifeline. You are supposed to catch me when I fall, pick me up when I crumble, and love me always.

Where are you?

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

I was thinking about you all day and came to the conclusion that I want to spend the rest of my days on this planet and life next to you and hold your hand walking this life path together. I love you baby with all my heart and soul now and forever.~ Moon

Bits and pieces of the last few days have been too amazing for words. I have decided that with you, being US, is where I would like to spend my forever. I can only wish that I could ever be so lucky to exhaust myself to sleep with you only to wake in the morning with more of the same. The last 24 hours with so little of you have been tiring and painful, after being able to spend time lost in US the absence of you hurt so much more.

I think we may get some time together tonight so of course I am bugging you nonstop to hurry it is whatever you are doing and get to loving me…

If we don’t, which would suck, I just want you to know that there is not a second that goes by that I don’t long to be US. I want you to know that in a perfect world, where there were no tiny hearts to broken, there would be nothing holding me back from you; but this world is far from fucking perfect, and the wee tiny hearts that I speak of are here and do exist so there is no way that I could uproot them or break them, and you have a tiny heart of your own so instead I will hope and pray that since you are my soul and US is meant to be that we will weather whatever storm we must until we can be US, always.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m sorry if my writing has become annoying or repetitive but I need to write, it helps me keep the tiny bit of sanity I am hanging on too, and this is my blog so I can write what I want too, and I like to write about US, it reminds me of US moments, it brings a tingle and tightening deep within me, it keeps the believe in me alive so that I can make it through until I can be in your arms making magic again; seriously becoming aroused thinking of the words you were whispering the other day and the things you were doing to my body and soul.

Okay, have to stop now.

I love you.

I’m yours.

PS. I wrote this before I read the email from you that contained the title of this little post tonight. How ‘US’ to decide the same thing on the same day. I love you.

 

I don’t know how I will sleep tonight without you… I won’t.

The last few nights/days have been so amazing with you. I can’t tell you how much I love every second I spend with you, even if it is only laying in bed reading while you ‘shop’ on Amazon (you naughty, naughty boy, you) I love it. I love falling asleep and every time I am woken from a horrible dream you are there to love me back to sleep again.

I will miss you tonight. I will lay awake most of the night I’m sure, while staring into the darkness longing for your love. I wish I had the time to write more without being interrupted but its not a possibility with the wee ones.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

PS. Did I mention that She feels like She’s prancing around today with a big boa, heels, and a perma-grin? Yea, thanks for that. I love you.

I love you.

Thanks for loving (hating?) me so good baby.

I’m yours

I don’t really have words this morning, just happy smiles and tingly everything’s… Thank you. I love you.

Is it just me or is the sun shining brighter today? Am I the only one who feels like they are floating on the clouds? I feel like I have spent the morning with my feet barely touching the ground as I float from task to task with a smile on my face and a tingle in my… everywhere (:

I don’t even know what to say about last night, the early hours of morning, waking at dawn scared and looking for you, like I often do, but you were here so I was lulled back to sleep by the sounds of you sleeping and the warmth of your love; and I am positive I have no words for the wake up you gave me this morning.

You never cease to amaze me with your ability to love, to make love; if there have ever been any words spoken in this universe that I want to believe in they were whispered/moaned/groaned from the love produced from US last night. I truly found myself lost in a jumbled mess of US-ness and it was amazing.

I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know what I have done to deserve a love like yours but I only hope I am worthy of it. I hope I don’t lose it. I feel like we lost a part of US along the way but last night proved that there is nothing lost from US.

I know now what the true loss of US feels like and I will do any and everything for the rest of my days to not feel that agony again. And I think that last night you showed me that you feel the same. I love you. I heard every whispered word and felt every tender touch of yours. Thank you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. Please stay.

I felt US last night. I feel US right now. She is not letting me forget any detail of the last 14 hours and I am sooooo okay with that. Just writing the last few words have my breasts tingling and aching for your touch again. I am seriously having trouble fighting back the tingle. And the thought of having to wait at least 2 more hours is killing me, and that is if you don’t have to do something after work today, well something besides me…

I hope this feeling lasts. I hope the love of US is healing the parts of my soul that need it because I am definitely feeling US in ALL other parts today (:

I love you.

I miss you.

I can’t wait to be with you again. I will be waiting. In my panties. And maybe a pair of heels.

Please don’t make me wait long. I don’t know if I can….

I’m yours.

 

 

 

 

 

I miss you. I hope you are enjoying your day off without me. I will be waiting for you. Please don’t keep waiting for too long. She gets impatient.

I have a lot to say but the words are nowhere to be found.

So, instead I will just say…

I miss you.

I love you.

I hope that we get some US time tonight.

Until this evening my Moon. I love you.

I’m yours.