I’m not in the best of moods right now so I probably shouldn’t even be attempting to write, or should I?
I’m feeling ignored, unimportant, not wanted, and unloved; and I hate it. I hate that when I am available you are not. I hate it even more when the reason behind ‘your not’ is related to video games, golf, or alcohol. I mean really? I don’t rate above any of those? Not even a, hey I’m kinda busy response. Just an ignore. A nothing.
I know I’m being ridiculous. I get it. Do you have to be available at my beck and call? Absolutely not, I have never wanted that, but I would like if I called repeatedly in a row for you to acknowledge that I just might really need you and to answer. Or at least respond. But nope. Nothing. Again.
I know I said I was busy for the night. I know I said I would talk to you tomorrow. I know I said a lot of shit. But I need you now. It doesn’t matter anymore what I said because right now I need you, and you aren’t here. And I just don’t get it. I just don’t get how you expect me to let go of my reserves and trust you when you aren’t there when I need you. I know that it may seem like a small thing to you but it’s not to me. You are my lifeline. You are supposed to catch me when I fall, pick me up when I crumble, and love me always.
Where are you?
I miss you.
I need you.
I love you.