I’m sorry I made you mad…

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I’m yours… Even if you don’t want me.

Only one more night of this year. Fuck to the yea…

I have a lot to say… Just not the time to say it.

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I miss you.

I might have a few moments to spend with you so I’m not going to write like I was planning on. Instead I’m going to try to snuggle into you.

Even tho you super sucked today!!

I’m yours.

Sunday hurt day… And that is all I got.

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I’m in bed. Alone. On a Sunday morning. Did you get that second part there where it says alone? Just checking because I was pretty sure that you must have missed that since I’m STILL in bed, alone. Only now I’m writing to distract myself from the sadness and disappointment that are screaming at me.

I have to say that I really didn’t expect to spend any time with you today anyways. I always thought something would keep us apart…

A girl can wish though can’t she?

One of my last of 2012… Oh, why didn’t the World just end.

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Oh my, what to write today? Christmas is over. Finally. There are only a few more days left in this year and I’m pretty excited about that. Next year has to be better than this year was right? I don’t think I will make it through another year like this. I know I won’t.
Will next year be the year of US? Or the end if US?
I am almost too afraid to find out.
Days without you are empty. Nights without you are neverending. The few times I’ve been able to sleep with you have been amazing. I’m often scared to spend time with you when the works is dark and silent, it seems so much easier for your love to find it’s way in at those times. I’ve been lucky tho because usually you are so exhausted that you and your amazingness fall asleep before me so I don’t have to fight it for long.
Why is it that everything is so much easier in the night?
I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry.
I’m yours.

Pretty sure I’m becoming #addicted to Twitter… Tweet, tweet.

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Why have I not been tweeting all my life? This could become a serious addiction…

And I like it.

Follow if you dare…

Today is Christmas… Just feels like another Tuesday without you to me.

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I spent most of the morning nursing a headache from the ‘small’ amount of wine I consumed lastnight(wink, wink). The little ones made it hard to be icky feeling. Leaving me exhausted and drained. I would love to write more but don’t have the energy…

I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry.

I’m yours… If you want me.

PS. Apparently drunk writing leads to double posting. Oopsie sorry about that. Kinda.

I don’t know what to say… Yes I do, I hate Christmas.

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I’m sorry if I drunk dialed/messaged/text… It wasn’t me, it was the wine.
I miss you. I love you.
I’m yours.

I don’t know what to say… Yes I do, I hate Christmas.

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I’m sorry if I drunk dialed/messaged/text… It wasn’t me, it was the wine.
I miss you. I love you.
I’m yours.

I’m finding it harder to ignore the hurt in my soul… I miss you.

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I didn’t realize how much I was hoping for The End of the World until I spent ALL of yesterday waiting for the end to come.

I am pretty sure this was going to be about how I couldn’t think of much else than the end finally coming and this weird sense of calm i got when I thought about how the pain and hurt would maybe finally end. Yesterday was supposed to be my fucking out!

Fuck you End of the World for not following through!!

So now instead of wherever I would be I’m stuck here, in hell on earth, with someone who couldn’t care less about me, faking it while trying to f’ing make it, reminding myself to breathe, longing for US and waiting for the next ‘big catastrophe’ that is going to hit, well wishing actually.

It’s the weekend now, I think, and the holidays on top of that so anytime with you seems impossible and that is depressing. I guess I’m going to throw on some music and get lost in it.

I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you.
I’m yours.

The world hasn’t ended yet… At least I don’t think has but this very well could be hell.

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I can’t stop thinking about reading more of this blog. I want to grab a cup of coffee and curl up with my fuzzy, cozy, warm purple blanket and get lost in the story of US.
But I can’t.
Even after reading just those few post from September the hurt and longing for you came screaming to the surface, making it that much harder to ignore. I’m afraid if I read what I’ve wrote about US the small embers that burn for you will be ignited and well, all hell would surely break loose then. Right?!
So instead I will sit here and try to remember to breathe, reminding myself of all the reasons why I belong on this earth, and fighting to hear anything over the pounding of my heart in my ears.
I’m sorry.