I’m letting him go, I’m letting him go… Kinda.

heartache

I’m finally sticking to my word. It is so damn hard but I’m doing it. Kinda. I cant tell you how many times I have had to stop myself from reaching out to you. I just keep chanting, ‘You’re letting him go, you’re letting him go’, over and over in my head. It super sucks. I hate that I cant stop thinking of you. I hate that there are so many moments each day that tears spring to my eyes because of something that has reminded me of US. The worst is when I’m not alone and this happens. I’m getting pretty good at faking it again.

I’m turning into a cry in the shower kind of girl lately and I’m okay with that,  it keeps me sane and that is a good thing.

I guess that is all I got right now.

Weird because I was sure this would be a novel but turns out I don’t want to sit here and wallow in my loneliness anymore. I’m pretty sure I’m starting to accept the fact that I’m letting you go, not that it makes the it hurt any less but at least I am trying.

I need to find my happiness in the fact that you are happier without me. If only I could stop hurting so bad when I picture you being so damn happy without US. I am sure that will come with time but for now I am just going try to ignore the hurt and keep chanting, ‘ I’m letting him go…’

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