Ugh….

heart gone

I’m so sad.

I can’t seem to stop the tears today. It’s been raining like crazy today, the big fat drops that are my favorite, and I am enjoying watching them and listening to them.

Why aren’t you as easy to forget as I was?

Insomnia writing… What 4am in my head looks like.

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I’m so tired right now I can barely keep my eyes open. Do you think that stopped your text messages from replaying over and over in my mind…

Yea, not at all.

Should I be mad that they last few times you have attempted to call you have been either angry or distant?

Am I mad that instead of telling me how you miss me you’re telling me how you’re horny and how I don’t miss you blah blah…?

Probably not.

I’m probably just trying to ignore the tickling in my belly from getting anything from you. I’m fighting the tingle that you, no matter why or for how long, were thinking of me enough too even message me at all.

It’s not getting easier btw. It’s getting harder the longer it is. It’s hurting more the longer I go without hearing you. Thoughts of you moving on and finding someone else cut through me like hot knives. Thinking of you making someone else feel the way you made me feel takes my breath away. Knowing you will find someone else and give them the love that was supposed to be mine hurts in a way nothing else has.

Let’s not get into that tonight tho. I think it’s slumber time here, as it is finally silent in my house.

At least for now..

Nighty night.