It took hours to find the words… I don’t got anything left for a title.


I’ve been sitting here for awhile now and all I do is delete everything I’ve typed.

It doesn’t matter.

It’s all the same.

I’m hurt, missing you, wanting you, crying for you, blah fuckity blah blah…

I don’t know who I am anymore.

If I was insecure before then I wonder what you would call what I am now. I can only explain it as broken.

I feel like I don’t matter. I don’t know how to take a compliment. I turn awkward and sound rude because I don’t believe it. I feel like they are trying to make me feel better and that they are not sincere. I can’t understand what they could possibly see in me when you see nothing at all. I’m so bad at it that I have had someone tell me to stop, that I’m beautiful and funny and sexy and smart and I need to start seeing it and accept it. I don’t even know how I responded to him but I know all I was thinking was that I wish it had been you saying it.

I’m sure I won’t speak to him again for months….

Sadly, I’m okay with that.

It’s you I want.


You came back and we live happily ever after… April Fools


I’m convinced you do things just to hurt me now. You don’t want to take the time to answer the phone when I call or to respond to a text I send but you will take the time to record a video to send to me with the message attached ‘here babe’…


That is what I am worth to you now? You want to throw a 2 minute video to me satisfy me for a while so I leave you alone?

Well you got what you wanted.

I’m leaving you alone.

I will no longer sit here and try to convince you of my love. I have done everything I could. I have begged and cried. I have told you I’m sorry over and over.

You didn’t care. You don’t care.

4 months is a long time.

Long enough to decide if someone is worth fighting for.

Years from now when we look back at this time in our lives I can honestly say that I fought for US as hard as I could. I held on for as long as could kicking and screaming.

Will  you be able to say the same thing?