I can’t even get my nails did without thinking of you… FML


Just sitting here waiting for my turn to be pampered and I’m about to have a breakdown. While going thru the wheel of colors I had to stop myself from thinking what color you’d like, and that quickly turned to panic because you’d never see them, you won’t even know I had them done, and that is so sad to me. The music blaring in my ears with my headphones on, so I don’t have to interact with anyone more than necessary, isn’t really working either…


Back to trying to distract I think I’m going with green or blue I’m trying to avoid any color that is to happy. I really want black but I don’t know if they have it…

I feel like I’m on a crazy train. And it’s not the good kind…

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  1. oceanusperigean

     /  June 12, 2014

    I can imagine what your going through. And I am so sorry for your pain. I think I wrote once before awhile back… I still read the blog, as I tell my other half it is hard at times because it’s what I feared for so long (and a part of me still does). I found your blog trying to find the picture with the quote “for she is the ocean and he her moon.” Was one of the first I shared with my significant other. And ever since he has been my moon, and I his ocean. Even our online names represent those. I knew back when we first got together he’d be able to destroy me so badly it would kill me. I tried to run. I ran like hell. Only made it two weeks and it damn near killed us both. Was the third and final time I tried. Luckily he was the one who never have in or up. But without him for two weeks. I felt this. I don’t know why this man left, but you deserved far better from someone who had this connection with you. So much god damned more… I know nothing will help that pain, maybe time… And it is said we can have multiple soul mates. Perhaps something extraordinary has yet to happen is all. I think you should look up the subject “twin flames” on YouTube. The information and such is interesting. And if you like it, will lead you to other things you can follow. I found if nothing else, the music, quotes and imagery is beyond beautiful. Time tells all, hope remains. Just breath, and take another step

  2. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much comfort I find in your words. Often I feel alone with my sadness so again thank you for taking the time to read my words. And breathe… I will keep trying (:

  3. I can relate to the feeling that someone you once never wanted to spend a minute without now won’t know the smallest things about us like what time we laid down or the fact that we had a glass of wine with our dinner. I remember in my painful moments these days that God makes no mistakes and even our mistakes don’t surprise Him. You aren’t alone in your pain, if than makes a difference. I know that it has made all the difference for me. God heals. Time helps. All is possible.


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