My Drafts Folder was overflowing… So posting everything possible into one seemed fitting. Sorry it’s a long one.

silence and tears

 

Starting with the following these are all the drafts that I have left of US, that are post worthy some are just a touch too personal.

Here goes nothing…

A Soul Most Vulnerable…

I don’t know what to say.

It’s all the same but everything is different.

I have a draft folder full of posts that I just haven’t had the heart to post. I’m sure at some point I will post them, unfinished and all. But right now I don’t care. Mostly because…

You don’t care.

You only care if you think someone else might.

I finally got you to look me in the eye while I was able to tell you how bad you hurt me, how terrible you make me feel, how much I love you, how much I missed you… And much more word vomit.

You were silent.

Mostly.

Very little talking was done on your part.

When I asked you what you wanted from me you answered with, ‘I don’t know anymore.’

When questioned on how you viewed our ‘relationship’ status you didn’t have a response.

I told you how I didn’t think I could even consider you a friend to me at this point because you are never there for me you still had nothing to say.

You said you felt nothing.

That you felt numb.

I know that feeling.

I feel that every fucking second of every fucking day that you are gone. But guess what.

You chose that.

You decided that you didn’t want to be with me.

You picked feeling nothing over feeling a love so intense it was hard to take in at times.

I told you how disgusting that is to me and how much that hurts my soul because I am here, alive, breathing (barely), and I loved you more than I ever thought possible.

Nothing from you.

I want to know if you felt different this time when we were together.

I want to know if you don’t feel the same way you used to when you look at me now.

I do.

Yea, my heart is broken. But my soul is shattered.

I have to live a life with a soul that is missing pieces of itself. I have to try to find a way to put it back together without the pieces that you will forever own.

How do I do that?

Can it be done?

Not Titled….

It’s 11:11 and I’ve pretty much made it thru the day. Only the loneliest of times are left now until the sunrise and we fake it all again.

Oh how I miss my wishes from when life was filled with us.

Now I’m just wishing to make it to the next breath…

Well, that and a case of amnesia so I can forget everything US and not hurt so fucking bad.

I’m sure you’re doing just fine, as usual.

You have the legs of a ballerina… And other beautiful moments that got me through this hell like day.

I don’t know what to say.

It’s all the same but everything is different.

I have a draft folder full of posts that I just haven’t had the heart to post. I’m sure at some point I will post them, unfinished and all. But right now I don’t care. Mostly because…

You don’t care.

You only care if you think someone else might.

I finally got you to look me in the eye while I was able to tell you how bad you hurt me, how terrible you make me feel, how much I love you, how much I missed you… And much more word vomit.

You were silent.

Mostly.

Very little talking was done on your part.

When I asked you what you wanted from me you answered with, ‘I don’t know anymore.’

When questioned on how you viewed our ‘relationship’ status you didn’t have a response.

I told you how I didn’t think I could even consider you a friend to me at this point because you are never there for me you still had nothing to say.

You said you felt nothing.

That you felt numb.

I know that feeling.

I feel that every fucking second of every fucking day that you are gone. But guess what.

You chose that.

You decided that you didn’t want to be with me.

You picked feeling nothing over feeling a love so intense it was hard to take in at times.

I told you how disgusting that is to me and how much that hurts my soul because I am here, alive, breathing (barely), and I loved you more than I ever thought possible.

Nothing from you.

I want to know if you felt different this time when we were together.

I want to know if you don’t feel the same way you used to when you look at me now.

I do.

Yea, my heart is broken. But my soul is shattered.

I have to live a life with a soul that is missing pieces of itself. I have to try to find a way to put it back together without the pieces that you will forever own.

How do I do that?

Can it be done?

 

 

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