I’ve decided breathing is overrated… Oh, and I Darla’d you to death.

can i ask you something

 

So much has gone on recently.

My drafts folder is full.

I don’t post my crazy or hurt here anymore.

I’m convinced you don’t care anyway.

All my posts do now is show you how pathetic I am without you. You get to see how fucking in love I am with you and how alone I am without you.

I can’t stop thinking about a whole fucking lifetime without you.

I can’t breathe when I think about it so I try to avoid it at all costs but there is always something that makes me think of you. Always. I’m pretty sure I could survive in the highest of altitudes at this point due to how well I can maintain on less and less.

I think I loved you too much.

Can you believe that?

I am like the crazy little redheaded girl in Finding Nemo, Darla?!

I fucking loved you too much and it pushed you away.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know what to say. I have never felt a love like ours before. I have never before been so consumed by something that I felt like I should fight with my everything to keep it.

It’s scary.

It’s pathetic.

To call what I have for you love is not even really doing it justice. It is so much more than love. I feel like I love you with a part of me that is indescribable. I feel like you are my soul. I feel like my soul was made from your soul. I feel like our souls are one and the same.

I was so convinced you felt it too.

I was willing to give anything for it.

And this my friends is why I don’t post anymore and I leave them all in the drafts folder. Because it doesn’t matter. No one cares. I have to spend a lifetime thinking about something that made me feel so alive while it slowly kills me…

How fucking unfair is that?

What kind of a life is that? Is the quality of that life worth living?

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