You 100% are the love of my life but you’re not in my life… and it’s driving me crazy.

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I thought I was doing on, until I thought about how we’d never be able to make love again.

About how I’d never again feel our souls collide and the aftermath as it rains down on US as we find each other over and over again.

I’m sick thinking about how I never get to reach down and be shocked by how much she has already reacted to everything you’ve done/said/whispered/moaned/commanded/demanded/begged in more ways than I even thought.

I’m even more sick thinking about how you get to find all of these things and more with someone else while I get to exist a lifetime with a shattered soul.

It’s definitely a sad missing you night. I’m sure I will have those sometimes, I have a lifetime without you for fucks sake.

It’s just shitty that I get to have them while truly knowing now that you are with someone else, loving them, spending time with them, caring and thinking about them, doing all of the fucking things that we used to do with someone else.

Gag.

I’m so glad that you’ve found your happy.

Can’t you tell…

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3 Comments

  1. This is so raw and honest…and absolutely beautiful ❤

    Reply
    • Thank you… I write because it saves me but also so that when I’m not so broken I will be able to see the beauty in our love. Hopefully.

      Reply
  2. narcopathcrusher

     /  September 5, 2014

    friendly reminder: biggest romances of all time were full of pain because they were forbidden by society and other external factors (he is dead she is alive, he is a frog she is a princess, you get the point). If all the misery and the torture come from the relationship itself it is NOT the love of your life but a common scumbag and you deserve better than that.

    Reply

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