I miss me too… But not as much as I miss you.

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Where to begin?

I mean… I shouldn’t even have to begin again but I am so fucking stupid that as soon as you showed me any kind of attention I melted for you like a snow cone in fucking Phoenix… pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.

And here I am.

Re writing the same fucking story just another night.

One of the things saving me this time is that I don’t believe anything anymore so the bullshit you were spewing, via Skype non the less ( I said I was pathetic okay geez I get it), didn’t really mean anything to me. If it had been the me from just a few months ago, the one that fought every second of every day for a love that didn’t exist (ya that’s the one), then I would most likely be broken on the floor again after you disappeared again after only a few text messages and several days.

But it wasn’t that me.

It was the broken, shattered, doesn’t feel a fucking thing Me. The one who doesn’t believe in any bullshit forever love, the one who doesn’t believe in soul mates, because if they existed you were mine and you are gone so they cant exist. So I just kind of brush the tears that slowly fall while almost smiling on the inside because I the one thing I did believe was that you wouldn’t stay for long and you didn’t mean a thing you said. You never have.

None of that means that it doesn’t hurt, that I am not sad that you would hurt me again after seeing and knowing how broken I truly am.

Because I am.

I hurt.

I’m sad.

I don’t sleep.

Not a second goes by that you aren’t running through my soul….

I’m sorry I will never be enough for you….

I’m sorry.

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