This is what 4 weeks & 3 days looked like without you… It took me about that long to post it too.

 

i hate love

 

I’m finding myself with a few moments to myself so of course I am going to take the time to write or at least try to…

I have been writing and not posting a lot lately. Mostly because it doesn’t really matter anymore and it doesn’t make me feel better.

I don’t even know how long it has been since we ‘broke up’ but it feels like forever.

Thinking about it I guess we haven’t been for 9 plus months according to you and the story you tell everyone close to you.

But for me… even though I have felt that you have been gone for almost that long I didn’t completely feel it in my soul until about 4 weeks 3 days ago… pathetic.

I’m so sidetracked I can’t keep my thoughts in order.

The only thing I know is that what I am feeling, or not feeling, in my soul is not describable. There are hardly words for the way that deep inside I feel nothing. I can only describe it as my soul because even though I hurt physically from you leaving the missing you comes from someplace so much deeper.

And you’re gone.

You ignited an inferno like the wildest out of control forest fire in the thickest of Amazon jungles immediately engulfing any and everything around it incinerating it to nothing.

And that is what I feel without you.

Nothing.

But you don’t even notice I’m gone.

You barely even remember loving me…

And that super fucking sucks…

 

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