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The love I had for you was unreal. I have never felt another love like it. It was comparable to the love that I have for my littles and that scares me because I love them more than I love myself.

Which is probably why I was so broken when you left.

I read at night when I can’t sleep and I have turned to reading articles/blogs/books about love and loss.

I lost you.

When you left the man I knew and fell in love with died. He was no longer. And it has taken me way too fucking long to let it go. But I am slowly accepting that I will love again, without you. I am kinda starting to be able to breathe again without struggling. I think of you less and less. I don’t feel butterflies and tingles when I see of picture of you anymore. If I see a pic I barely recognize the man looking back because I don’t know this new you and there is hardly anything ‘you’ that remains. If it weren’t for your baby blues I would be convinced it wasn’t you but I would know your eyes anywhere, I’ll never forget them.

I’m sure that you have long forgotten any and everything me but for the first time that thought doesn’t hurt me deep in my core like it used too. Now I am able to just be okay with you moving on. I know the hurt is still there, it will be forever, but I am able to move freely and not be paralyzed by it.

I don’t know if this is real but I hope that it remains.

I hope I am able to keep accepting and moving on from the loss of US.

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