Started writing this 22 hours ago. . At least that’s what the Draft said.


The ‘okay’ is still holding on. I think I just might be accepting the loss of you, finally. I have been ‘slapped in the face’ with some pretty ugly truths about you and her recently (I’m pretty sure the universe hates me) and I have not shed one tear. It may be that I have shed all the tears that I could for you but I believe it has more to do with my soul accepting you’re not ours anymore.

I would be lying if I said that it didn’t still hurt but I was not paralyzed by it, albeit a little disgusted okay a LOT disgusted but other than that there was no emotion attached to you. I am starting to slowly piece together the person you are and I am so thankful I am able to see the full you before it was too late. Thankfully I didn’t marry you before I found out how full of shit you are.

I don’t want to turn this into a hate/anger blog because I honestly don’t want to waste anymore energy on you. You know all the terrible shitty things you did to me. You know how you lied and used me for years. You know the words you said and the promises you made, they came out of your fucking mouth or were typed from your fingers.

And most of all you know how I loved all of you, all of the good the bad and the ugly. You were my forever. I loved you at your darkest. And always would have.

But it’s whatever now.

None of that matters.

It is what it is. And it’s in the past.

And I will not let my past define my future..

Previous Post
Leave a comment


  1. I’ve been through this a time or three. It gets better, I promise, but good job being strong and not allowing your past to determine your future! How strong you are! Don’t ever forget that. You deserve better.

  2. Bethany

     /  February 27, 2015

    You’re a brilliant and daring writer. Thank you for sharing such raw emotions.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: