A sad broken road… To becoming whole.

Dear Universe,

I’m attempting to write again. It’s been so long. I have a ton more drafts filling up my draft folder but that is just how life is now I guess..

I have struggled to write here because of how ‘here’ came to existence. I wrote for Moon, for all the love that I had for him and what I thought was to become of US..

We are nothing now.

Yet still this blog exists.

It sits as a reminder of a life that I was certain would be mine.

Now we are nothing more than simply letters strewn together on a page.

I have attempted to put more words down here but I don’t have the passion burning inside that I once did.

It died with the loss of US…

It’s been quite sometime.

A lot has changed and very little all at the same time.

I have completely healed from the heart ache I once felt. I truly never thought I would say that. There are still moments when I deeply miss what Moon and I once shared but those moments are very few and extremely far between now. I also think about Moon sometimes.

After so many days/weeks/months/years, can you believe I still think about Moon?

I miss Moon. And I don’t I don’t mean I miss him in the way I once missed him, (like a lover) but the way you miss a friend, because honestly for a long time that is what I thought we were under it all.

I wonder if he ever thinks of me, also… not in the lovey dovey way but simply wonder if the images of US dance across his mind? Or did I truly paint that picture all on my own?

It was a long road to get here…

I was reckless, wild, free, and some might even say fun.

But there was also times of complete despair and utter hopelessness too.

I can report that I have and can feel things that are comparable, I won’t say they are the same because I don’t believe that you can have the same feelings/reactions/experiences with everyone hence the word comparable, to the feelings that he and I shared.

I was able to feel alive in the arms of another, again.

I had butterflies, giggles, and goosies, again.

I had a perma grin.

I hated to say goodbye, even if it was only for a few hours, but fell in love with hello’s all over, again.

I was a blushing, horny teenager, and I loved every second of it.

But sadly it just wasn’t our time and that relationship is no more.

And though it hurts and I feel sadness and loneliness, again…

I am hoping I will heal from this soul-ache also.

I just haven’t yet.

Will I?

This time, I’m honestly not sure…

Leave a comment

2 Comments

  1. Sherry Almquist

     /  July 29, 2019

    Thank you. Words i needed to hear. On my birthday even.

    On Fri, Jul 26, 2019, 12:49 AM Can I Keep You… wrote:

    > moon lover posted: ” Dear Universe, I’m attempting to write again. It’s > been so long. I have a ton more drafts filling up my draft folder but that > is just how life is now I guess.. I have struggled to write here because of > how ‘here’ came to existence. I wrote for Moon, f” >

    Reply
  2. This broke my heart. The way you miss him is not as a lover, but as a friend. Ugh. That’s so sad 😦 I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

    Reply

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