An odd silence… I only hope it lasts.

I don’t know how I feel today. I know that I am not frantic to breathe and that makes any day less stressful.

I miss you.

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Dying sounds better than living right now…

I miss you. I am trying to battle this demon on my own. For the first time in a long time I am scared. Why do I flinch if startled? Why am I  constantly startled because I am so distracted with my thoughts? Why am I here?….

I was going to try to write to you tonight, to keep myself busy and distracted, but I can tell already that I am in too dark of a place to do that.

So, instead I will say I hope you are right and that this, US, is worth it but I have to say that I am not convinced.

Run

Run as fast as you can Moon. Don’t look back…

I’m sorry. I am so sorry…

 

 

I should battle this demon on my own… I think.

Until now that is…..

I am sorry. I think I need to do this on my own. I love you. I need to do this…