I must be breaking again… Otherwise I wouldn’t be back.

Must be that time again. The time where the universe totally fucks you.. in the worst kind of way.

I was on an okay path for a quick minute there. Almost found Happy again, the kind of Happy that is there to stay, and then it was gone.

We bounced back and forth for a bit, Happy and I. But I have totally lost sight of it now.

Long gone.


What do you say when you have literally felt almost everything you are feeling right this moment, only this time it’s a gazillion times worse and felt in every molecule of your being? And I’m not even being that overdramatic this time. The connection we found was literally imprinted on every cell of us.

And when you hear the saying ‘history repeats itself’, that shit is true. It does.

Over and fucking over.

And I’m one of the dummies that will keep playing along cuz I’m a glutton for pain and a sucker for love.

I am mostly coming here to get this shit out and put it down. So that when history comes back to slap me in the face again. And I come here to whine like a baby. Hopefully I see this fucking cycle and I finally man up enough to walk the fuck away. Stop allowing myself to be hurt and treated poorly.

I mean, is it really that fucking hard to just not say shit you can’t back?

Like is that some kind of terrible disease people get where they don’t gain the ability to not just say stupid shit they don’t plan on following up on?

It’s actually quite simple to just be real and honest. It is so much easier to remember shit you’ve said because well, you actually mean it, so if asked or questioned about it there is no problem recalling it.

It’s difficult to stay focused when I’m currently in a texting argusation (half arguing half conversating). And YouTube is killing me tonight too. All the Gods are against me tonight.

I’m possibly being overly sensitive  and a tad dramatic.

But when I think that I am on a certain path, not a quick and simple one either it’s actually quite long, bumpy, scary, and unknown, but you are pretty confident in the fact that you are on said path with someone you feel secure and safe with and find comfort in the fact that both of you have the same end goal in sight. And then you find out that the someone is actually also on some walks with others, that you know nothing about and aren’t aware of.



You know what.

I’m not going to do this right now.

I’m going to go watch the first snow fall of the season. With a cup of coffee. And some music.

Because I fucking love the snow. And it usually makes me feel better.

Let’s hope it does this time too.





I miss you. I love you. If you come back I will never say no to you again… I love you. Always.

Last night was amazing. I love you. Thank you for making me feel. Thank you for showing me all the love of US that I have been missing.

I love you.

I miss you.

I wish you would come back… I’m drowning without you.


T-Swizzle are you trying to tell me something?!


You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness… Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

I am going to pour myself into this blog. I am going to try to come here every time I want to talk, text, call, or what the fuck ever you. I am not going to give you the satisfaction of knowing that I care enough to let it hurt me.

I don’t care. I used to but not anymore. I have spent too much of my life caring about assholes who care only about themselves.





My song to you tonight Moon. I haven’t heard this in awhile but the feelings came flooding back.




One, two, Freddy’s coming for you… Nine, ten…

I wish I was little and scary movies were the maker of my nightmares. Now reality produces scarier scenes.

I’ll take Elm Street over this shit any day. Freddy would never have a chance… I don’t sleep anymore anyway.

I  miss US.

I’m sorry.

Suffocation. No breathing.



I won’t hesitate no more, no more, It can NOT wait… I’m Yours.

I miss you. This song brings a smile to my face. I have always loved the song but this version is AMAZING. And of course anything amazing reminds me of US (:

I hope Little Man is whipping ya into shape and showing you who’s BOSS. I love you.

I’m yours…

Magical Moon filled ‘multiple’ make-up’s, throw in some Mufasa’s and a great case of the Mmmmmmm’s and that my dear is the recipe for an A M A Z I N G Monday.


Oh my, we made up for yesterday. Well, YOU made up for yesterday. I missed you. I love you. I am so thankful that you continue to love, care and fight for US. Thank you for sticking around through everything. I thought I was going to have this HUGE post tonight but US has other plans and I am so okay with that! I am, for once (: not complaining. We will have to mark this one on the calendar.

I love you. I can FEEL how much you love me. Pretty much Amazing-ness all around (: and THAT my dear is something worth KEEPing…

I’m bored… So I made an Album Cover. You can too… unless, you have a life.


The Swords of Lankhmar

And, we’re ALL going to die

I was a bit bored and didn’t feel like battling any demons tonight. So I found this fun, time consuming, activity to partake in on this lovely blog here (:

I miss you. I can’t wait for tomorrow… Goodnight my Moon.

Want to make your album cover? Ok, well the deal is:

1) Go to Wikipedia. Click on Random Page. This is your band’s name.

2) Choose a number between 3 and 7, inclusive. Go to Google searching for Random Quotes. Randomly click on an entry on the first page, and once on the page, go down the number you picked. That’s your quote. Choose consecutive words anywhere in that quote equal to the number you picked. That’s your album title.

3) Go to Google again and insert the words you didn’t use for your album title. Search for images. Choose the third picture on page 2. That’s your album pic.

4) Go to Picnik. Edit together your picture, band name and album title. There’s your album cover!