Some say tomorrow the World may end… My love for US never will. Promise.

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I figure I should I write, the end of the world is coming you know and I would hate to not be able to, what with being dead and all.
I wish I had some great story to write, about how beautiful and wonderful our love story is. But we both know that would be full of shit.
I have distanced myself from you, emotionally mostly but in other ways as well.
I have to.
There is no other way to fight US. If I let myself slip at all and fall into the magic of you it’s almost impossible to shut it out.
I can literally feel you ignite US, from the depths of me I feel the tingle and slow burn of US begin and if I don’t immediately block it out… Well, I don’t really know what would happen because I have always fought it and I’m terrified to find out what would happen otherwise.
So I will continue to fight US. I can’t even write about it any longer because just recalling the feelings and putting them down makes my heart race and my breathing irregular, the butterflies start to flutter and well… Just a bunch of things start happening so as usual I can feel myself begin to shut down.
Had to distract myself and put the writing thing on hold. Things are getting pretty bad if I literally can’t even write about US without the tingle starting. I don’t know how much longer I can fight it. It’s becoming so hard. I’m sorry if my distance is hurting you.
I’m hurting too.
I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t like you anymore or I am moving on or any other silly thought you are having because I’m not. I don’t even know how I could. It seems like there is no way to forget about US, not that I truly want too, it’s like US has branded my soul and there is no way to ignore it.
It is so easy to get lost in you. It is so easy to fall into you and never want out. But I won’t allow that to happen. I can’t…
I want nothing more than to call you up and fall asleep to you. Just the sound of your breathing settles the violent waves that my sea of doubt toss about.
There are many things I miss about you, the soft gentle way you whisper to me, the way your love wraps around me no matter the distance, the way your presence awakens Her and makes get long for you.. It’s happening again. I need to stop myself. I’m sorry. For some reason I feel as though I could write forever but the emotions that are surfacing are scary. And I’m exhausted. Lonely. And you’re not here, yet somehow I feel you all around me…
ugh…. I’m ending this now. Before I say anything (else) I may regret.
I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry.
I’m yours…

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Dear Universe, Please show me something Amazing today… Make me feel alive.


 

Hey there.

I miss you. I want to lie in bed with you all day and just get lost in your love and snuggle into you, wrapped in your arms, forever. In your arms is the only place that I feel safe, it is the only time that I am able to fully breathe.

And that scares me. I need to be able to be okay on my own. I want to be okay on my own. I want to be able to fall asleep at night and not constantly be woken with nightmares.

I guess I am going to stop this now. It isn’t making me feel better for some reason. I am feeling a bit worse right now actually.

I am going to blast some music, my specialty, and get lost in cleaning, until I can get lost in US.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

Guess who’s wide awake and has to be at work in 6 hours? Yup, Me can you say…

I miss you.

I love you.

I wish I was snuggled in your love, fast asleep.

I’m yours.

Since you can’t be here to chase away the demons tonight can we at least meet in my nightmares… I mean dreams

I want to write to you. I want to tell you how much I miss you and need you.

But I can’t. I’m sorry.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

Hope your night was better than mine… Or do I??

I’m not in the best of moods right now so I probably shouldn’t even be attempting to write, or should I?

I’m feeling ignored, unimportant, not wanted, and unloved; and I hate it. I hate that when I am available you are not. I hate it even more when the reason behind ‘your not’ is related to video games, golf, or alcohol. I mean really? I don’t rate above any of those? Not even a, hey I’m kinda busy response. Just an ignore. A nothing.

I know I’m being ridiculous. I get it. Do you have to be available at my beck and call? Absolutely not, I have never wanted that, but I would like if I called repeatedly in a row for you to acknowledge that I just might really need you and to answer. Or at least respond. But nope. Nothing. Again.

I know I said I was busy for the night. I know I said I would talk to you tomorrow. I know I said a lot of shit. But I need you now. It doesn’t matter anymore what I said because right now I need you, and you aren’t here. And I just don’t get it. I just don’t get how you expect me to let go of my reserves and trust you when you aren’t there when I need you. I know that it may seem like a small thing to you but it’s not to me. You are my lifeline. You are supposed to catch me when I fall, pick me up when I crumble, and love me always.

Where are you?

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

I was thinking about you all day and came to the conclusion that I want to spend the rest of my days on this planet and life next to you and hold your hand walking this life path together. I love you baby with all my heart and soul now and forever.~ Moon

Bits and pieces of the last few days have been too amazing for words. I have decided that with you, being US, is where I would like to spend my forever. I can only wish that I could ever be so lucky to exhaust myself to sleep with you only to wake in the morning with more of the same. The last 24 hours with so little of you have been tiring and painful, after being able to spend time lost in US the absence of you hurt so much more.

I think we may get some time together tonight so of course I am bugging you nonstop to hurry it is whatever you are doing and get to loving me…

If we don’t, which would suck, I just want you to know that there is not a second that goes by that I don’t long to be US. I want you to know that in a perfect world, where there were no tiny hearts to broken, there would be nothing holding me back from you; but this world is far from fucking perfect, and the wee tiny hearts that I speak of are here and do exist so there is no way that I could uproot them or break them, and you have a tiny heart of your own so instead I will hope and pray that since you are my soul and US is meant to be that we will weather whatever storm we must until we can be US, always.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m sorry if my writing has become annoying or repetitive but I need to write, it helps me keep the tiny bit of sanity I am hanging on too, and this is my blog so I can write what I want too, and I like to write about US, it reminds me of US moments, it brings a tingle and tightening deep within me, it keeps the believe in me alive so that I can make it through until I can be in your arms making magic again; seriously becoming aroused thinking of the words you were whispering the other day and the things you were doing to my body and soul.

Okay, have to stop now.

I love you.

I’m yours.

PS. I wrote this before I read the email from you that contained the title of this little post tonight. How ‘US’ to decide the same thing on the same day. I love you.

 

I don’t know how I will sleep tonight without you… I won’t.

The last few nights/days have been so amazing with you. I can’t tell you how much I love every second I spend with you, even if it is only laying in bed reading while you ‘shop’ on Amazon (you naughty, naughty boy, you) I love it. I love falling asleep and every time I am woken from a horrible dream you are there to love me back to sleep again.

I will miss you tonight. I will lay awake most of the night I’m sure, while staring into the darkness longing for your love. I wish I had the time to write more without being interrupted but its not a possibility with the wee ones.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

PS. Did I mention that She feels like She’s prancing around today with a big boa, heels, and a perma-grin? Yea, thanks for that. I love you.

I love you.

Thanks for loving (hating?) me so good baby.

I’m yours

I miss you. I hope you are enjoying your day off without me. I will be waiting for you. Please don’t keep waiting for too long. She gets impatient.

I have a lot to say but the words are nowhere to be found.

So, instead I will just say…

I miss you.

I love you.

I hope that we get some US time tonight.

Until this evening my Moon. I love you.

I’m yours.

 

 

 

I hear you say you love me, I feel your love (sometimes), but I miss your voice so much… Will we ever spend time as US again?

I feel like I am on my knees, crawling, begging, you to spend time with me. I am sometimes rewarded with some. Saturday I got hours, yep I said hours, with you but it’s not enough. I want to not be second, third, or whatever worse I am to you right now. I want to not have to hear, ‘ I don’t know yet, I have to check with ______ ,insert your friends name here, and I will let you know’.

Really?

Why don’t I matter? Why do I have to beg and wait to spend some time with you?

I know that I say I love you. And I do. But do you really think I will sit here and play second to your buddies? Because I won’t.

I will love you forever. I will like you for always. But if you keep me waiting… who knows.

I love you.

I miss you.

I’m yours.