Some say tomorrow the World may end… My love for US never will. Promise.

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I figure I should I write, the end of the world is coming you know and I would hate to not be able to, what with being dead and all.
I wish I had some great story to write, about how beautiful and wonderful our love story is. But we both know that would be full of shit.
I have distanced myself from you, emotionally mostly but in other ways as well.
I have to.
There is no other way to fight US. If I let myself slip at all and fall into the magic of you it’s almost impossible to shut it out.
I can literally feel you ignite US, from the depths of me I feel the tingle and slow burn of US begin and if I don’t immediately block it out… Well, I don’t really know what would happen because I have always fought it and I’m terrified to find out what would happen otherwise.
So I will continue to fight US. I can’t even write about it any longer because just recalling the feelings and putting them down makes my heart race and my breathing irregular, the butterflies start to flutter and well… Just a bunch of things start happening so as usual I can feel myself begin to shut down.
Had to distract myself and put the writing thing on hold. Things are getting pretty bad if I literally can’t even write about US without the tingle starting. I don’t know how much longer I can fight it. It’s becoming so hard. I’m sorry if my distance is hurting you.
I’m hurting too.
I’m sorry if you feel like I don’t like you anymore or I am moving on or any other silly thought you are having because I’m not. I don’t even know how I could. It seems like there is no way to forget about US, not that I truly want too, it’s like US has branded my soul and there is no way to ignore it.
It is so easy to get lost in you. It is so easy to fall into you and never want out. But I won’t allow that to happen. I can’t…
I want nothing more than to call you up and fall asleep to you. Just the sound of your breathing settles the violent waves that my sea of doubt toss about.
There are many things I miss about you, the soft gentle way you whisper to me, the way your love wraps around me no matter the distance, the way your presence awakens Her and makes get long for you.. It’s happening again. I need to stop myself. I’m sorry. For some reason I feel as though I could write forever but the emotions that are surfacing are scary. And I’m exhausted. Lonely. And you’re not here, yet somehow I feel you all around me…
ugh…. I’m ending this now. Before I say anything (else) I may regret.
I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry.
I’m yours…

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One doesn’t forget about ones Moon. Ever.


Guilty. Guilt. Tons of it. Everywhere I turn, everywhere I look. I can’t escape it. And I fucking hate it. I don’t like to feel guilty. I don’t do things that make me feel guilt. Guilt is an emotion that I avoid but for some reason I am smothered in it.

I have to focus on my situation here. I have to focus on making here livable again. I got so lost in US; the blackness crept in and almost stole everything from me. I need my attention to be here. You are distracting. You are what I dream about. US is the love you read about in those sappy fucking romance novels. But US can’t be. Not now.

I’m sorry.

I’m still going to write you. I know that walking away right now is going to be one of the hardest things I have done. But I have to. I will try to write whenever I have the urge to talk to you. I am hoping I will find comfort in writing to you because you have always cared so much about what I have to say. Everything. Even the stupid, dumb, whiney, bullshit that I usually give you. You would sit there, listen, and love.

Thank you. Thank you for being strong for me. Thank you for not making this any harder than it already is. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for loving. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing me what love should feel like. Thank you for showing me that I could feel a love like US, a love so fierce, passionate, intense, and powerful that the memories are burned into my soul forever.

I will miss you.

I already do. I miss you the second we part. I always do.

I won’t say good bye. Now or ever.

Until we meet again my Moon. I love you.