Wide awake, another sleepless night… I miss you.

It’s really starting to snow out now. It has been off and on for a few days but now, now its really snowing (: my favorite kind of snow the big huge feathery flakes that even though they are madly falling and wildly out of control from afar they look as though they are peacefully floating to the ground. I am in front of the window in the living room with the curtains wide, the blinds pulled all the way up even though I am freezing my ass off, and I love it. I am starting to feel that tingle of excitement that I feel when it snows. I haven’t felt it yet and I was sadly missing it, like I am missing you.

I miss you; I wish you were here to snuggle up with. I am trying to breathe in the love and release all of the ‘not so loving’ feelings. I miss you. I can’t sleep; I haven’t really been able to. I should try to now. I miss you, although I may have said that already.

Goodnight my Moon. Rawr

Let it snow.

It snowed today. You were one of the first things that popped into my head. It made me smile, for like half of a second, then I felt the sadness creep in because you weren’t here to share it with. It felt so good to feel that giddy, excited, kid in a candy store feeling for a few moments. I miss feeling like that. I miss feeling. It has been another one of those days; you know the ones I’m talking about, the ones where you don’t attempt to contact me. YaY! I always love those days; they are some of my favorite. Ha ha ha…

It’s supposed to snow some more, I’m soooo excited (: I want it to completely cover everything in that beautiful white blanket that erases all the ugly. It is so pure and peaceful looking for those few moments before it is disturbed by the busy bustle of life. I wish that it took away all of the ugly instead of just masking it for a bit but at least there is a few moments of calmness and serenity with a new snow. I hope it snows more. I want to get lost in it. It is so easy for me to get lost in the snowflakes. To just forget everything while I watch it fall to the ground, watch the wild and crazy path as it flutters madly to the ground where it finally settles peacefully. Please snow more Mr. Snowmaking Guy. My head could really use the silence for a bit. Kaithanxbye (:

I’m trying my hardest to stay positive. I am trying to get lost in just the thought of more snow and Chicago so that I don’t take out my anger, sadness, hurt, fears on you like I usually do. I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt as well as some space since this is your first technical full weekend solo in oh so long. But I was kinda hoping that even though it was your first solo weekend, you would still want to try to say hi or something. I am getting calls from strange numbers again. I hope that they were just misdials and not annoying lunatics (:

I’m going to finish the movie now, make a cup of tea, and wait for the magic to begin falling again. Wish me luck.

Goodnight my Moon I miss you. I will be thinking of you. Meet me in my dreams… Rawr